Anything For a Laugh
by ColHogan
Summary: Things are quiet at Stalag 13. Too quiet. And it's during this quiet time for Hogan and his men, that a mystery comes their way that makes them wish things were quiet again.
1. Chapter 1

_I thought I would try a change of pace in my story-telling by writing a light-hearted story....Stalag 13 style. Also, I do not own the characters of Hogan's Heroes, but I do own the DVD set and watch them daily._

_**A/N: After much alcohol and giggling late one night with my friend Jennaya, and with the men of Barracks 2, the following silliness was a product of that night. **_

**Anything For a Laugh**

**Chapter 1 --- A Mismatched Pairing**

Laying on the lower bunk with hands clasped behind his head, Hogan thought about it some more. He had been going over it in his mind for several days, hoping everything would work out the way he wanted. A lopsided grin suddenly appeared on his face. Hogan now knew exactly what he was going to do. _It's perfect, _he told himself.

Hogan swung his legs over the side of the bunk and got to his feet. He grabbed his crush cap off his desk, put it on his head, and pushed it back. He zipped his bomber jacket half-way before leaving his quarters. First he had to make contact with London and place his order and make sure they could deliver it.

Leaving his quarters, he noticed LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk busy playing gin rummy. He didn't respond to their greetings as he strode past them and, approaching the double bunk in the corner, struck the hidden mechanism and waited for the lower bunk to rise and the ladder to drop. When they did, he stepped over the bedframe and disappeared down the ladder leaving his men staring after him.

"What's wrong with the Colonel?" asked LeBeau, curious. "He didn't even acknowledge us saying hello to him."

Newkirk shrugged. "He has been kinda withdrawn lately," he replied picking up a card Carter had discarded. "But I wouldn't worry about it none. Seems the Gov'nor's just got something on his mind is all. He'll discuss it when and if he's ready." He laid his cards on the table. "Gin," he replied with a wide grin. Carter and LeBeau tossed their cards on the table while giving the Englander a dirty look. Newkirk chuckled as he reshuffled the cards.

Reaching the landing, Hogan made his way to the radioroom where he found his radioman, Sergeant James Kinchloe, known as Kinch to his friends, lying on the bunk he kept in the radioroom when he was monitoring the radio. Kinch was reading a magazine and didn't see Hogan at first. He put down the magazine upon hearing footsteps and looked up and saw his commanding officer looking down at him. He quickly sat up.

"Can I help you with something, Colonel?" he asked.

Hogan sat down at the radio and held the headset to his ear. "No thanks, Kinch," he replied. "This call I have to make myself. But I would appreciate it if you would leave for a few minutes. This call is kinda personal."

Puzzled, Kinch slowly got to his feet. He found himself staring at Hogan with a concerned expression. "Sure, Colonel. If that's what you want."

Hogan looked into Kinch's eyes. "That's what I want, Kinch," he answered with a serious look on his face.

Shrugging, Kinch tossed the magazine on the bunk before heading out of the radioroom.

"Kinch?"

The radioman stopped at the opening of the radioroom and looked back. "Yeah, Colonel?"

"Kinch....Newkirk, Carter and LeBeau are upstairs. Could you make certain none of them comes down here for the next, say....fifteen minutes?"

At this point Kinch didn't know whether to be concerned, frightened or puzzled. All he knew was his commanding officer was being more mysterious than was usual for him. "If that's what you want, Colonel. No problem."

"That's what I want. Thanks."

"Colonel, is something wrong? Are you all right? Maybe I could help somehow?"

Hogan let out a deep breath. "No, Kinch. You can't help. Not this time. None of you can. And don't look so worried. Nothing's wrong. Just do what I asked."

"Sure, Colonel." Kinch exited the radioroom and made his way towards the landing. He climbed up the ladder leading to the entrance of the barracks. Stepping over the bedframe, he struck the mechanism and watched the lower bunk drop over the opening. Then, with a concerned and puzzled look on his face, sat down at the table where Newkirk was lighting a cigarette.

"Something buggin' you, mate?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm not sure," Kinch replied. He looked at the trio. "Have any of you noticed anything different about Colonel Hogan today?"

"Different?" asked LeBeau. "What do you mean by different?"

"Well, maybe strange is a better word," Kinch remarked.

"What d'ya mean by strange?" asked Carter with a sheepish grin.

"It's hard to explain," Kinch remarked. "Like not wanting anybody to know what he's doing."

"What's so strange about that?" asked LeBeau with a chuckle. "Sounds like the Colonel is in one of his moods today. He probably has something on his mind."

Kinch's eyes narrowed. "No, that's not it. I think something's going on with him this time and he's not saying what it is. He just asked me to leave the tunnel and make sure neither you, Carter or Newkirk came down into the tunnels for about fifteen minutes. Said he had a personal phone call to make."

"That doesn't sound like Colonel Hogan," chimed in Carter.

"Did you ask the Gov'nor what was wrong?" asked Newkirk, worry starting to creep onto his face.

"Sure I did. All he said was nothing was wrong." Kinch clasped his hands on top of the table. "But I'm tellin' you right here and now. Something's either really bugging the Colonel, or something's wrong with him."

There was a long moment of silence as Kinch's last sentence hit home.

"Do you think Colonel Hogan's sick?" asked Carter softly. "I mean really sick?"

"Couldn't be," replied LeBeau. "We all just had physical exams by Wilson two weeks ago. We would know if the Colonel was ill."

"Would we?" asked Kinch, looking at the Frenchman. "Don't you remember? Right after his exam the Colonel spoke privately with Wilson. He never did tell us what the conversation was about. Maybe Wilson discovered something and told the Colonel what he found."

"And the Gov'nor either can't find a way to tell us or won't tell us," Newkirk added. A look of determination appeared on his face. "Mates, I say when the Colonel gets back we confront him and find out if he's really sick or not. And we don't let up until he tells us."

The men suddenly fell silent as the lower bunk raised and the ladder dropped down. A minute later, Hogan emerged from the tunnel. Stepping back into the barracks, he struck the hidden mechanism and watched the ladder rise as the bunk dropped over the opening. He then grabbed his coffee cup from the window sill and proceeded to pour himself a cup of hot coffee.

LeBeau nudged Newkirk and motioned with his head towards Hogan. The Englander licked his dry lips and slowly got to his feet. "Uh, Colonel Hogan, we'd like to speak with you for a moment."

"Sure. What's up?" asked Hogan taking a sip of his coffee.

"Well, sir, it's like this. We've all noticed you've been acting strangely of late and have been since we all had our annual exams by Wilson. And, we were just wondering....that is.... what we mean is...."

"Are you sick, Colonel? I mean really sick?" asked Carter, fear showing in his eyes.

Hogan's eyebrows shot upward. "What makes you fellas think I'm sick?"

"Well, Colonel, right after you had your exam you and Wilson spoke privately," said Kinch. "And when we asked you about it afterwards you sorta brushed us off and said it was nothing."

"And we were wondering if Wilson found something wrong with you during your exam," added LeBeau. "We're concerned about you, mon Colonel. If something is wrong, perhaps we can help."

"What he said, sir," chimed in Newkirk.

Hogan took a long draught of coffee to avoid chuckling. "I'm not sick. I've never felt better. I was asking Wilson something personal is all. Satisfied?"

"Then if you're not sick, Colonel," Kinch said, "Then why are you being so secretive like asking me to leave the tunnels and keep the others out of the tunnels when you had to make a radio call? If something's wrong, maybe we can help if you'd just open up to us."

Hogan sighed. "You can't help, Kinch. None of you can help. This is something I have to handle myself." He turned and started towards his quarters, but paused for a moment and looked back. "Before I forget. Newkirk, tomorrow night at 2200 hours, I need you, Carter and LeBeau to go out through the emergency tunnel and pick up a small package that's being delivered by air drop."

"Sure, Colonel," Newkirk replied.

"Thanks. Oh, and make sure you bring it back to me right away."

"Right, sir," Newkirk added. "Colonel?"

"What is it Newkirk?" Hogan asked, slightly annoyed.

"Are you telling us the truth, sir? That you're not sick. Because if you are and can't find a way to tell us...."

Hogan shook his head. "For the last time, I am not sick. I'm fine. Now, if you gentlemen will excuse me...." Hogan turned and disappeared into his quarters, closing the door behind him.

Newkirk slowly sat back down and looked at the others as they all exchanged worried looks.

"What do you all think?" he asked. "You think the Gov'nor was tellin' us the truth about not being sick?"

"Hard to say," added LeBeau.

"Colonel Hogan wouldn't admit it even if he was," Carter replied.

"Well...." Kinch said, rubbing his chin. "Whether the Colonel's sick or not, something's going on with him. And until he's ready to tell us what it is, we'll just have to wait."

Hogan grinned as he sat down at his desk. He tossed his crush cap onto the desk and ran a hand over his thick black hair. _If they only knew the real reason I'm acting so oddly, _Hogan told himself with a chuckle. _Wait until they see what's in that package London's dropping tomorrow night. _In fact, Hogan was a bit surprised when London agreed to his request. But then again, they knew Hogan and his men got bored when things were quiet as they were of late.

The following night, Carter, Newkirk and LeBeau climbed out of the tree stump which was the exit/entrance for their emergency tunnel. They immediately hid in the bushes as the searchlight from the guard tower outside Stalag 13 scanned the area. After it had passed by, the trio, dressed in black turtlenecks, trousers, knit caps, and with grease smeared on their faces for camouflage, hurried to the rendezvous place. Hiding in the bushes, Newkirk looked through his binoculars until he spotted the plane.

"I see the plane," he whispered. "There's the signal. Two white, one blue, two white. Give 'em the reply, Louie."

Using his flashlight, LeBeau flashed their response. Newkirk watched as a small parachute attached to a package was tossed from the plane and landed across the road from where they were hidden.

"Let's go," Newkirk told them.

The trio hurried across the road and found the small package dangling from a low tree branch with the parachute tangled on a tree branch. Newkirk untied the small package which was the size of a paperback novel.

"Blimey," he remarked. "The Gov'nor wasn't kidding when he said it was small."

"What do you think's in it?" asked Carter. "Medicine, perhaps?"

"Well, whatever it is, we'd better get it back to the Colonel right away like he asked," Newkirk reminded them. "Now let's go."

It took the trio only thirty minutes to get back to camp and into the barracks. Newkirk knocked on Hogan's closed door and waited. After a long minute, the door opened and Hogan stood in the doorway.

"Here's your package, Colonel," Newkirk replied handing Hogan the small bundle.

"Thanks, Newkirk," Hogan replied taking the package from him and then closing the door again.

Newkirk, looking over his shoulder at the others who were all seated at the table, could see the worry on their faces and knew they all felt the same way he was feeling. Something was definitely wrong. He slowly joined the others and sat down.

"I'm afraid I don't know what to think, mates," he said pulling the wool cap off his head glumly.

"Did the Colonel say anything, Newkirk, when you handed him that package?" asked LeBeau.

"Yeah. He said, 'Thanks Newkirk.' And that was the extent of the conversation."

Just then, the door to Hogan's quarters opened and the Colonel emerged from his room with a grin on his face. He approached the table and laid the package on the table before sitting down. He noticed his men staring at him with concern.

"I figured I was being selfish by keeping this to myself and should let you fellas in on it." He hastily unwrapped the package to reveal a box. Opening the box, there was a smaller box inside. Removing the small box, Hogan opened it to reveal a diamond ring. He held it up for each man to see. He heard the 'ooohhhs' and 'aaahhhs' from them.

"Tiger is going to be so excited, mon Colonel," said LeBeau. "We are so happy for you both."

"Why didn't you tell us you were going to ask Tiger to marry you, sir?" asked Newkirk with a smile.

"That's because this engagement ring isn't for Tiger," Hogan admitted.

The men all looked at each other, surprise crossing their faces.

"Not for Tiger, mon Colonel?" asked LeBeau. "Then who is it for? Tiger's been the only one you've been serious about."

"This ring is for Marya. I'm going to ask her to marry me when she comes here in a week from now."

He looked at his men and noticed the shock on their faces. All except for LeBeau. The shock on his face had turned to stunned disbelief.

"Colonel, you can't do this!" he jumped to his feet, raising his voice. "You know how I feel about her! You don't love her!"

Hogan raised his eyebrows in surprise. "LeBeau, I suggest you refrain from raising your voice at me. I am your commanding officer after all. And as far as Marya is concerned, she sort of grows on a man. And well...." Hogan grinned slyly. "...she sorta grew on me. So, when she shows up I will pop the question and hopefully, she'll say yes."

LeBeau was beside himself. He stomped around the floor. "You can't do this! It isn't fair, mon Colonel! You don't love her! I do!" He stared at Hogan thumping his own chest with his fist. "She is mine! I won't let you have her!"

Newkirk and Kinch looked at each other. "Louie, take it easy," Newkirk replied. "you're going around the bend on this."

LeBeau turned his stare on Newkirk. "I don't care! Marya loves me. I know she does! And I love her! The Colonel has no right taking her away from me!"

"LeBeau, take it easy, mate," said Newkirk calmly.

"NO! And don't tell me to take it easy! He can't have her! I won't let him!" With that, LeBeau turned and stormed out of the barracks, slamming the door behind him. The others watched him leave. As he watched, Hogan did his best to hide the smile that was inside from showing.


	2. Chapter 2Mystery Date

**Chapter 2 --- Mystery Date**

The next morning during roll call, Hogan discovered LeBeau still wasn't speaking to him which really didn't surprise him at all. In fact, he expected it. But Hogan wasn't overly concerned. Right now, he had to put up with the boredom of standing in formation and being counted by Schultz.

With hands clasped behind his back, Hogan rocked back and forth on the balls of his feet. Out of the corner of his eyes he saw Schultz stop counting when he reached LeBeau, noticing the little Frenchman looked angry.

"And what is wrong with you, cockroach?" Schultz asked.

LeBeau stood with his arms folded, a scowl on his face. He nodded his head in Hogan's direction. "Why don't you ask **him**?!" he snapped.

"Him?" asked Schultz, puzzled. "Him who?"

"Colonel Hogan, **that's** who!" LeBeau spat.

"Why are you angry at Colonel Hogan, cockroach?"

LeBeau glared at Hogan who looked at LeBeau with a blank expression on his face. "Because he's a back-stabbing traitor! **That's** why!"

"LeBeau, you can't talk about Colonel Hogan like that!" Schultz reminded him.

"And why not?!" LeBeau turned towards Schultz. "He deserves it!" He glared at Hogan again. "And he knows why!"

Schultz was about to ask another question when he spotted Colonel Wilhelm Klink, Kommandant of Stalag 13, approaching.

"Schuuullltttzzzz! Repoooooooorrrrrtttt!" he bellowed.

Schultz saluted. "Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for."

Klink returned the salute. "Very good, Schultz. You can dismiss your prisoners."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant," Schultz replied, saluting Klink. The Kommandant returned the salute, turned, and marched back towards the Kommandantur. Schultz spun around and faced the prisoners. "All prisoners dismissed!" Watching the prisoners disperse, Schultz approached the Frenchman who threw up his hands.

"I don't want to talk about it!" he shouted, storming away. He entered the barracks and slammed the door behind him.

Schultz and Hogan watched him leave. Schultz then approached Hogan, speaking in a low voice so nobody could hear him.

"Colonel Hogan, what is wrong with the cockroach?" he asked. "Why is he angry at you?"

Hogan grinned mischeviously. "He'll get over it, Schultz," he replied innocently. "Got up on the wrong side of the war this morning, that's all." Noticing that Schultz was about to ask another question, Hogan turned and entered the barracks.

"Did anybody see who left this here?" asked Newkirk, picking up a sealed envelope from the table. He looked around the barracks as other prisoners were walking in.

"What is it, Newkirk?" asked Hogan, curious.

"Somebody left a sealed envelope addressed to me on the table here. Any idea who might've left it, sir?"

"Not a clue," Hogan replied. "Why don't you open it and see what's in it?"

"Right, sir," Newkirk replied softly as he ripped open the envelope and removed a folded, single sheet of paper. With Hogan looking over his shoulder, Newkirk's eyes scanned the message. "Blimey, Gov'nor," was all Newkirk could utter.

"Newkirk," Hogan remarked taking the letter from the Corporal. "Seems like you have a secret admirer." He read the short letter before handing it back to Newkirk.

"Who's it from?" asked Carter, sitting down at the table with Kinch. LeBeau, ignoring Hogan, was busy making a fresh pot of coffee.

"Some bird," the Englander replied. "She says she has admired me from afar and knows that I'm a prisoner-of-war. She hopes to be coming to the camp in a few days and introduce herself to me and hopes to get a date. It's signed Gertrude."

"Gertrude?" echoed Carter. "Who's Gertrude?"

Newkirk's eyes widened. "How should I know? I mean, I know a lot of birds back home and in Hammelburg. But, I don't remember anyone named Gertrude." He looked at Hogan. "Colonel, you don't suppose someone on the outside who shouldn't know about us, knows about us or at least about me?"

Hogan took the letter from Newkirk again and looked it over. "Not sure. But the lady does seem to be taken with you for some reason, Newkirk." The Colonel grinned. "Are you sure you don't know her?"

It was a struggle for Hogan to watch Newkirk squirm uncomfortably without breaking out in laughter. He knew what it was like to receive letters from ladies he didn't know, or at least didn't remember.

"Colonel," Newkirk looked as if he was almost pleading. "What am I gonna do? I mean, I've always been careful not to disclose I'm a prisoner-of-war with any bird I meet. What am I gonna do?" He ran a hand nervously over his brown hair. "Blimey, what am I gonna do? I never met this bird. At least I don't think I did. What do we do, sir? I mean, if she knows about me she might also know about us."

Hogan sighed. "I wish I had an answer for you, Newkirk. I really do. But I'm afraid I don't."

"Gee," Carter said with a smile. "I wonder what this Gertrude looks like? I mean, I wonder if she's pretty?"

"Andrew, is that all you can think about?" asked LeBeau. "What if this woman knows about us and our operation?" He gave Hogan a dirty look which didn't go unnoticed by the others, including Hogan. The Colonel chose to ignore it. _LeBeau will get over it, _Hogan told himself. _And if he can't, then I'll just deal with it._

Newkirk sat down and re-read the letter. His expression was glum. He didn't know what he was going to do. How did this woman know him? Where did she see him? Did he meet her and just not remember it? One thing Newkirk prided himself on was being able to remember each lady he met, both here and back in England. Putting the letter on the table, he removed his little black book from his pocket and started going through it, studying each name.

"What are you doing?" asked Carter, curious.

"Going through me little black book. What does it look like I'm doing?" Newkirk gave Carter an exasperated look.

"Gee, I never knew anybody who needed a little black book to keep track of girls before."

Newkirk looked up from what he was doing and at the young sergeant. "Andrew, do me a favor."

"Sure, Newkirk. What is it?"

"Shut up!" The Englander replied wearily.


	3. Chapter 3The Challenge

**Chapter 3 --- The Challenge**

Later that same day, Newkirk was still wracking his brain regarding who Gertrude was. He was sitting at the table drinking coffee with LeBeau, Carter and Kinch. The Colonel was in his quarters with the door closed. He ran a hand nervously over his brown hair. Trying as hard as he could, he couldn't remember ever meeting a girl named Gertrude. Even looking in his little black book, there was nobody named Gertrude.

Just then, the barracks door opened and Schultz walked in, carrying several envelopes in his hand and a medium-size box in his arms. "Mail call!" Schultz announced loudly. He nervously backed up against the closed barracks door as the prisoners swarmed forward like wild animals at feeding time. "Help! Colonel Hogaaannnn! Help!"

"All right, break it up!" Hogan bellowed as he ushered his way through the crowd of prisoners engulfing the fat Sergeant. Schultz jammed the envelopes into Hogan's hands and heaved a sigh of relief when the prisoners gathered around Hogan, who quickly handed out the envelopes, including two to LeBeau, one to Carter, he stuffed two addressed to himself inside his bomber jacket and had only one envelope left. He looked at the front of it and hesitated. His eyes shifted to the Englander. "Newkirk...." he held out the envelope to the corporal. "Here's another one addressed to you. Looks like the same handwriting as the other one."

Newkirk slowly took the envelope from Hogan's hand and looked at it warily. He slowly opened the envelope, removed the folded single piece of paper and unfolded it. He read it and then ran a hand over his hair.

"Blimey, Colonel. It's from the same bird." He handed Hogan the paper. The Colonel read the message and shook his head. He handed the letter back to Newkirk.

"What's it say?" asked Carter.

"Dear Peter. I hope you received my last letter. I can't wait to meet you and your friends. I know what you and your friends do, but don't worry. I won't tell anybody what I know. Until we have a chance to met. Signed Gertrude." Newkirk looked sheepishly up at his commanding officer who wrapped his arms around himself. "I'm sorry, Gov'nor. I have no idea how this happened or who this woman is. What do you want me to do?"

"I don't know what to tell you, Newkirk," Hogan replied seriously. "But you'd better do something about it. Your constant involvement with the opposite sex in town has finally led to possible problems for us and I suggest you do something about it and quickly. Understand?"

"Yes, sir," Newkirk replied softly glancing up at his commanding officer. Hogan was not smiling.

Schultz, who the entire time had been standing in front of the barracks door still holding the medium-size box in his arms, cleared his throat to draw attention to himself. Hogan turned and looked over at the fat Sergeant.

"I'm sorry, Schultz. I forgot you were still here." He approached Schultz and tapped the box. "What's in the box? You sending somebody a gift?"

"No. This came today for Sergeant Kinchloe. I have no idea what it is or who sent it."

"Who'd be sending me a gift?" asked Kinch warily as he got to his feet and, approaching Schultz, took the box from him and looked at it. It was a brown box with no return address. On the top was printed the name: 'Sergeant James Kinchloe' and nothing else. Kinch put the box on the table and opened it. Carter, Newkirk, LeBeau and Hogan gathered around the radioman to see what was inside. Kinch's eyes narrowed as he saw the contents.

"What is it, Kinch?" asked Hogan, seeing Kinch's expression. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure, Colonel," Kinch replied as he removed the contents of the box. It was a pair of boxing gloves.

"Boxing gloves?" asked Carter, surprised. "Who sent them?"

Kinch reached inside the box and removed a single sheet of paper on which was printed, in block letters, a short message. Kinch read the message out loud to the others. " 'Sergeant Kinchloe. I understand you fought in the golden gloves and consider yourself pretty good. I challenge you to a match at a day and time to be decided by me. I will be in touch.' " There was no signature.

"Who the heck sends a message with no signature?" asked LeBeau, looking at Kinch.

"I have no idea, LeBeau," Kinch replied looking at the message and then the boxing gloves. He had absolutely no idea who was challenging him to a boxing match nor whether that person was in his own barracks or not. Putting the boxing gloves back in the box, Kinch looked at Hogan.

"Colonel, this is really getting spooky. I mean first Newkirk gets a letter from a girl he's never heard of or at least doesn't recall. Then someone sends me a pair of boxing gloves and a message challenging me to a match but doesn't tell me who he is."

"And everything started happening right after you announced your intention to pop the question," added Newkirk.

Hearing reference to Hogan's intention again, LeBeau threw up his hands again. "I don't want to hear another word about it!" he shouted marching past Schultz and storming out of the barracks. Hogan watched him leave and sadly shook his head. _LeBeau's just gonna have to accept what's happening, _Hogan told himself. _I'll have to have a talk with him and get him to understand about Marya and me._ He sighed wearily and glanced over his shoulder at Schultz.

"Thanks, Schultz," Hogan said, opening the barracks door and holding it open. "We'll catch you later."

"Jawohl, Colonel Hogan," Schultz replied, wondering secretly just what the heck was going on in barracks two with the prisoners. "Colonel Hogan, what question are you popping?"

"You'll be the first to know, Schultz," Hogan replied with a lopsided grin. "Right now, it's a secret." He gently pushed Schultz out the door and closed it behind him. He turned to face his men, wrapping his arms around himself. "Gentlemen, something's going on here and we need to not only find out what that something is, but what the connection is to us." Hogan then placed one foot on the bench and balanced on his other leg. He rested both arms on his knee. "But first I need to straighten things out with LeBeau. I hate the idea of him being angry with me over Marya."

"That's a bleedin' tough job there, Colonel," Newkirk reminded him. "LeBeau's one feisty little Frenchman he is."

"I know, Newkirk," Hogan said with a sigh. "But he's gonna have to accept the situation. I mean, he's never once made his intentions known to Marya since he's known her. I'm just hoping I can get him to understand."

"Yeah, well good bloody luck with that," Newkirk added.

Kinch smiled faintly. "Want to borrow my boxing gloves, Colonel," he pointed towards the box sitting in front of him.

Hogan chuckled. "I just might need them if I can't get LeBeau to listen to reason, Kinch. Just promise me you'll keep them away from LeBeau." Sighing sadly, Hogan massaged his forehead and closed his eyes momentarily. To his men, he suddenly looked like he was about to faint. "I need to be alone to think," he said wearily. Starting to turn he staggered and if Newkirk hadn't jumped up and caught him, he would have collasped.

"Colonel, are you all right?!" he asked as he and the others gathered around their commanding officer, concern etched on their faces.

Hogan massaged his forehead again, closing his eyes again for a moment. "I'm fine," he replied softly. Struggling to pull himself together, he straightened up and opened his eyes. But his men could still see he looked unwell.

"I'll go get Wilson, Colonel," said Carter, worried as Newkirk supported their commanding officer's weight with one arm around Hogan's waist and the other holding one arm.

"Don't bother Wilson, and that's an order." Hogan struggled to get the words out. He suddenly ached all over. "I'll be fine after I lay down for awhile. I'll be in my quarters." Turning, he unsteadily walked, unaided, towards his quarters and entered, closing the door behind him.

His men watched him disappear into his quarters. After he had closed the door they exchanged worried looks.

"I don't care what the hell the Colonel says, I still think one of us better go get Sergeant Wilson right away," replied Newkirk. "The Gov'nor doesn't look well at all."

"I'll go," volunteered Carter as he started to get up. Kinch's hand on his arm stopped him.

"Just wait a minute," he said. "Don't get Wilson. Not yet anyway."

Newkirk and Carter both stared at their friend. "Why the bloody hell not, Kinch? You saw the Colonel just now. He's sick and needs a doctor."

"We all heard the Colonel's orders. He said he didn't need Wilson. All we can do right now is follow his orders and not get Wilson. We'll wait and see for now. If things don't improve, I'll be the first one to get the medic."


	4. Chapter 4Quarantine

**Chapter 4 --- Quarantine**

Kinch, Newkirk and Carter all sat at the table drinking coffee. Newkirk had lit a cigarette. He was massaging his forehead.

"Something wrong, Newkirk?" asked Kinch with a sigh.

"Yeah something's wrong, mate," the Englander replied, exasperated. "I wish I could remember a bird named Gertrude. But I can't and it's driving me bloody crackers."

"If it makes you feel any better, Newkirk," Kinch added. "It's driving me crazy as to who sent these boxing gloves and challenged me to a fight."

Newkirk suddenly looked at his best friend, Andrew Carter, who had remained oddly quiet the entire time.

"What are you thinking about, Andrew?" he asked.

"What do you think is wrong with Colonel Hogan?" Carter said finally breaking his silence. "He looked like he was gonna pass out."

"He did didn't he," Kinch remarked softly. "Frankly, I don't think he was being honest when he said he felt fine. In fact, he looked like he was having another one of his headaches again."

Newkirk took a drag on his cigarette. "He's been having these headaches for at least two weeks now. I wonder if Wilson found the reason behind them during the Colonel's annual examination. I mean, that could've been what he and the Gov'nor were discussing."

"What who was discussing?" LeBeau asked as he approached the table and sat down. He had walked in quietly during their discussion.

"We were discussing Colonel Hogan," said Kinch.

LeBeau clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. He was still ticked off at the Colonel.

"Dammit, LeBeau," Kinch began. "This has got to stop right now! Despite what he said earlier, we think the Colonel might be sick. Possibly very sick. While you were out licking your wounded pride, Colonel Hogan nearly collapsed a few minutes ago."

"He's really upset right now," Newkirk added. "He's concerned about his relationship with you. Frankly mate, if you ask me, you're acting like a ruddy jackass!"

"**ME?!**"the Frenchman shouted, jumping up in amazement. "What about the Colonel? He stole Marya from me."

Carter suddenly slammed his fist on the table top. "Louie, knock it off!"

Everybody paused and stared at the young sergeant. He had a stricken look on his face.

"LeBeau, all you've done since Colonel Hogan told us he was gonna ask Marya to marry him is complain and act like a spoiled brat. I mean, when you think about it, you never gave any indication you were serious where Marya was concerned. And how was Colonel Hogan suppose to know you were really serious about her. We all thought you were just attracted to her is all. And now the Colonel might really be sick, and all you can think about is your hurt feelings. If anything, LeBeau, **you** make me sick!" Carter got up and sat down on his lower bunk with hands clasped between his knees. He stared at his hands.

Nobody spoke after Carter's outburst. After a long moment, LeBeau sat back down and sighed wearily. He looked in Carter's direction. I am sorry, mon ami. You are right. I do not own Marya nor did I ever declare my intentions where she was concerned. When I see her, I will give her my congratulations and wish her well."

Carter looked up at LeBeau. "And what about Colonel Hogan?"

LeBeau slowly nodded. "I think I owe the Colonel an apology for my behavior. You are right about that as well. We have all been through too much together for our friendship to be broken up over this. I will go right now." He started to get up when Carter's voice stopped him.

"Louie, don't apologize to Colonel Hogan because he might be sick but because you mean it."

"Oui, mon ami. I do mean it when I say I will apologize to the Colonel." He got up.

Carter remained seated where he was, but a smile appeared on his face. He watched the Frenchman walk towards Hogan's quarters and knock on the door. LeBeau waited but didn't hear any response to his knocking. He knocked again only louder this time. Again he got no response. Looking over his shoulder at the others, he turned the doorknob and slowly opened the door and peered inside.

"Colonel?" he asked gently. "Are you awake?" He noticed Hogan lying on the lower bunk rubbing his forehead. He coughed a dry cough as he looked over slowly with barely open eyes.

"LeBeau?"

The Frenchman's eyes narrowed as he came closer. From the look on Hogan's face, he appeared to be in some discomfort. "Colonel? Are you all right? You don't look well at all."

"LeBeau, get Wilson and have him come right away. Something's wrong."

"Right away, mon Colonel," LeBeau anxiously replied hurrying out of the room and closing the door. He raced out the barracks door without stopping to tell his three friends anything.

Kinch, Carter and Newkirk all looked at each other with apprehension. Something was not right. Getting to their feet, the trio hurried to the Colonel's quarters. Kinch knocked on the door. Hearing a faint 'come in' he opened the door. The trio started to enter, but Hogan held up a hand stopping them.

"Don't come any closer," he said softly. "Whatever I have might be contagious so don't come any closer until Wilson gets here."

"But Colonel...." Kinch began as he and the others took a step into the room.

"I **said** don't come any closer and that's an order!" Hogan closed his eyes and rubbed his throat. He coughed again.

Just then, Wilson squeezed his way into the room. He looked back at Hogan's men.

"I suggest all of you wait outside while I examine the Colonel. I promise I'll speak with all of you after I'm done." He closed the door and placed his medical bag on the bed beside Hogan.

"Now Colonel, what seems to be the trouble?" Wilson asked. "LeBeau didn't tell me much."

"I'm not sure," Hogan replied. "I feel warm, have a sore throat, hurt all over, and have a headache that won't stop."

"Hmmm. Sounds like you might have the flu, Colonel. If you do, you'll have to be quarantined until it runs its course. But I need to examine you to be sure." Pursing his lips, Wilson proceeded to open his medical bag and removed his stethoscope.

Outside in the common room, Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk all gathered outside Hogan's door.

"What do you think's wrong with him?" asked Carter, worried.

"I have no idea," Kinch replied folding his arms. "I'm hoping it's just a cold or something like that."

"What if it isn't a cold or something like that?" asked Newkirk letting out a deep breath. "What I mean is, what if it's something serious?"

"If it's something serious," chimed in LeBeau. "Then we will take care of the Colonel until he is well again."

Just then, the door to Hogan's quarters opened and Wilson emerged, closing the door behind him. Running a hand over his hair, he looked at Hogan's men individually.

"What's wrong with the Colonel?" asked Kinch nervously.

"Gentlemen, has anybody been in the colonel's quarters in say, the last thirty minutes?" Wilson asked.

"Only me," said LeBeau. "But I was in there less than a minute."

"Are you sure?"

"Oui," the Frenchman exchanged looks with his friends. "Why? What is wrong with the Colonel?" his eyes narrowed.

Wilson sighed. "I'm afraid Colonel Hogan will have to be quarantined," he said. "Nobody but me is permitted to enter his room for at least seven days. Possibly more."

"Why?" asked Carter, puzzled and worried. "What's he got for Pete's sake?"

"Colonel Hogan has a case of influenza. I don't think it's severe, but it is extremely contagious. I'll need to examine everybody in this barracks to see if it's spread. If it has, I'll have to quarantine the entire barracks. But regardless, I'll have to report it to the Kommandant."

"Influenza?" asked Kinch. "How did he catch that? Nobody else that I know of is sick with it."

"Well, he caught it from someplace or someone."

Kinch, Carter, Newkirk and LeBeau all exchanged troubled looks. They were all thinking the same thing. They all thought of whomever it was who sent the mysterious letters to Newkirk and the package to Kinch.


	5. Chapter 5For Want of a Cure

**

* * *

**

Chapter 5---For Want of a Cure

It was several hours before Wilson had finished examining every prisoner in barracks two and came to the conclusion that Colonel Hogan was the only prisoner infected with influenza and for that Wilson was grateful. He had Kinch take duct tape and run a long strip across the middle of Hogan's door from doorframe-to-doorframe. He also tacked a notice on Hogan's door on which he had written one word:

'QUARANTINED.'

"Nobody is to enter this room except me," he told the men. "Right now Colonel Hogan is the only one infected and I hope to keep it that way. I have to report this to the Kommandant and see what he wants to do. I'll be back later to check on him. Is this understood?"

The men all nodded or gave Wilson a 'yes sir' to his question. With a grim expression on his face, Wilson started for the door of the barracks when Carter grabbed his arm. The camp medic looked at him. Carter's face showed his deep concern for Hogan.

"All we can do right now is watch and wait for it to run its course, Carter," he said gently before Carter could ask his question, and not wanting to further upset the young sergeant. "But you know I'll do my best for the Colonel."

A weak smile appeared on Carter's face as he nodded and sat down. Wilson felt the young sergeant's pain over Hogan's illness. It was also evident on the faces of the others as well. Wilson knew how devoted and loyal the men were to the Colonel and how much they worried about him when he was injured or ill as he was now. With a sigh, the medic left the barracks.

Kinch, LeBeau and Newkirk slowly sat down at the table. Newkirk looked at Hogan's closed door. He shook his head. "What a ruddy piece of bad luck," he muttered. His eyes suddenly narrowed.

You don't suppose whoever sent me those letters and sent Kinch that package is responsible for the Gov'nor being sick with the flu do you?"

"How could somebody purposely make the Colonel sick?" asked LeBeau.

"How the bloody hell do I know?" replied Newkirk, frustrated. He lit a cigarette and took a long drag hoping it would calm his nerves.

"I can't say whether or not this person did something to Colonel Hogan to make him ill," said Kinch. "But I wouldn't put it past somebody to want to incapacitate the Colonel somehow."

"So what are we going to do about who sent these letters and that box?" asked Carter.

"Easy," Kinch replied. "We'll look into it ourselves but leave Colonel Hogan out of it. He's in no condition to help and besides, he needs to concentrate on getting well."

"Y'know, I just thought of something," LeBeau remarked. "Newkirk, just how did this Gertrude know you were a prisoner-of-war anyway?"

He looked the Englander in the eyes.

"You're askin' me? How the bloody hell do I know? Heck, I don't even remember meetin' a bird by that name."

"You **don't** remember or don't **want** to remember?" asked Kinch.

"Now don't you start on me," Newkirk replied staring at Kinch.

"I'm not starting anything," Kinch said. "All I am saying is that LeBeau's got a point. How did this woman find out about you being a prisoner and about us? I mean, it's not exactly something we walk around advertising. So how did she find it out?"

Newkirk threw up his hands as he got to his feet and started to pace. "I have no bloody idea and that's the truth! So stop askin' me all right?!" He sat back down again. "Besides, didn't she say in her last letter she won't tell anybody about us and what we do?"

"And that's suppose to make us feel better, Newkirk?" asked LeBeau. "Some girl you say you don't know says she won't tell anybody about what we do makes it all right. Mon ami, she could endanger our entire operation."

Newkirk sighed. He shook his head and rolled his eyes. "Oh knock it off, all of you!" he said, exasperated.

* * *

"Colonel Hogan has what?!" Klink found himself saying despite what Wilson had just told him. He hoped he had heard incorrectly.

"You heard me, Kommandant. Colonel Hogan is suffering with influenza and I've quarantined him in his quarters with instructions that nobody is to enter his room except me. Fortunately, I've tested everyone else in the barracks and nobody else seems to be sick with it, so I don't see any need to quarantine the entire barracks."

"How long will he be incapacitated do you think, Sergeant Wilson?"

"Could be anywhere from five-to-seven days. Maybe longer. Depending on whether we caught it quickly enough."

"Can't you give him a shot of penicillen?" asked Klink nervously. The last thing he wanted was an epidemic running rampant through his camp.

"Kommandant, you and I both know that penicillen does nothing for influenza. It just has to run its course. All I can do right now is keep careful watch on Colonel Hogan and monitor him closely. The last thing he needs right now is for his fever to jump higher than the 101 it already is." Wilson leaned forward, palms flat on Klink's desk. "Colonel, when you have roll call, I expect you'll want someone to check on the Colonel to make sure he's in his quarters. So, what I suggest is that whoever you choose to check on him is that they just crack the door open slightly and peek in but not go inside. I don't need anybody exposing themselves to influenza unneccesarily as it is highly contagious as you know."

"Yes, I know, Sergeant," Klink said massaging his forehead. This was not what he needed at this point with Burkhalter arriving in a few days for an inspection of the camp. But then Klink's face brightened with a thought. Maybe, just maybe, once the General heard Hogan had the flu he would postpone his inspection. It was worth a try anyway. He'd call the General as soon as Wilson left.

"Are you listening to me, Kommandant?" Wilson asked, irritated because it seemed Klink wasn't paying any attention to what he had been saying.

"Huh? Oh, sorry Sergeant Wilson. I was thinking of something else for a moment. Could you repeat what you just said?"

"I said if Colonel Hogan's condition doesn't improve in a couple of days, we will have to have him hospitalized not only for his own well-being, but for the safety of the entire camp to prevent an epidemic from breaking out."

"I understand, Sergeant. I'm sorry," Klink replied. He started again thinking about Burkhalter postponing his visit due to Hogan's illness. A smile reappeared on his face.

"Kommandant, are you listening to me?" asked Wilson seeing Klink was again distracted by something. "Because if you're not and someone gets exposed, you're going to have an epidemic in this camp."

"I'm sorry, Sergeant," Klink apologized again. "It's just that I have something on my mind right now."

"Something more important that the wellbeing of you Senior POW officer?" asked Wilson.

"Of course not," Klink replied becoming indignant. "I want what's best for Colonel Hogan. Do what you can for him, and if you should require anything just let me know and I'll see what I can do. I want this to be contained if at all possible. And I'll take you recommendation that when I have someone check on Hogan at roll call that they do not enter his room at all. Now, is there anything else I need to know?"

Wilson stood erect and sighed. "No, Kommandant. That about covers everything. I'll keep you informed on the Colonel's condition." He saluted Klink who returned the salute.

"Thank you, Sergeant. Dismissed." He watched Wilson turn and walk out of his office, closing the door. "Schuuuulllllttttzzzzzz!" he shouted. After a minute, the door opened and Schultz slowly trudged in. He saluted the Kommandant.

"You called for me, Herr Kommandant?" he asked wearily.

"Yes I did, Schultz," Klink replied saluting his sergeant. "I just had a visit from Sergeant Wilson, the camp medical officer. He's informed me that Colonel Hogan is suffering from influenza and is very ill. He is currently being confined to his own quarters."

Schultz sadly shook his head. "That is terrible, Herr Kommandant. But what about the other prisoners in the barracks? Are they quarantined as well?"

"Fortunately, nobody else is ill according to Sergeant Wilson. Now Schultz, for the time being at roll call, Colonel Hogan will be excused until he is well enough. But you are to check on him and make sure he is in his quarters. Do you understand?"

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant. But, Herr Kommandant, won't I catch what Colonel Hogan has? I mean, influenza is so contagious and all."

"Schultz, dummkopf, you won't be going into his room exactly. Sergeant Wilson suggests whoever checks on Hogan to crack the door to his quarters and peek in. This way they won't be exposing themselves to the flu. Can you do that properly, Schultz?"

"Jawohl."

Klink saluted his sergeant who did likewise. "Then return to your post, Schultz, and dismissed!"

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant." Schultz spun around and slowly walked out of the Kommandant's office as Klink picked up his telephone.

"Fraulein Hilda? Get me General Burkhalter in Berlin. Priority call."


	6. Chapter 6Things That Go Boom

**Chapter 6 --- Things That Go Boom?**

The next morning at roll call things went as ususal with the exception of Colonel Hogan's spot in the formation being vacant beside Newkirk. The Englander glanced over at the vacant spot beside him and sighed. He was so use to seeing his commanding officer beside him that it felt strange not seeing him there. While Schultz was counting the prisoners, Sergeant Wilson passed the men by and walked towards the barracks to check on his patient. He nodded to Schultz and to Hogan's men as he walked by them and entered the barracks.

When Schultz finished his count, he turned around and faced Kommandant Klink who was just emerging from the Kommandantur and approaching.

"Schultz! Report!"

Schultz saluted. "Herr Kommandant, all prisoners present and accounted for."

Klink saluted. "Very good, Schultz. And what about Colonel Hogan?"

"I was just going to check on him, Herr Kommandant. Do you wish to come with me when I go inside?"

"No thank you, Schultz. I'll wait out here. You can go and check."

"But Herr Kommandant, Sergeant Wilson just went inside to check on Colonel Hogan. Shouldn't I wait until...."

"Don't be such a chicken, Schultz," Klink shook a fist at him. "Get in there and check. I'm sure Sergeant Wilson won't object to being interrupted for just a minute. Now go."

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant." Schultz took his time as he entered barracks two and approached the closed door to Hogan's quarters. He saw the sign and the duct tape. Swallowing nervously, he knocked. The door cracked open and Schultz was met by Sergeant Wilson.

"Yes, Schultz?" the camp medic asked.

"I'm sorry to disturb you, but the Kommandant wants me to check on Colonel Hogan."

Wilson stood aside so Schultz could peek inside. He saw Hogan lying in his lower bunk apparently asleep.

"Is there any change?" asked the fat sergeant hopefully.

"Other than his temperature having gone up to 102, no. He's still the same. Now if you'll excuse me, Schultz, I have to return to my patient." He closed the door in Schultz's face.

Schultz shrugged and exited the barracks where the prisoners of barracks two and the Kommandant were still waiting.

"Well, Schultz?" asked Klink.

"Herr Kommandant, I beg to report. Colonel Hogan is in his quarters. But, Sergeant Wilson told me the Colonel's temperature has risen to 102."

"I see," Klink appeared flustered at hearing the news. It was bad enough that Burkhalter refused to postpone his inspection after hearing of Hogan's contagious illness, but now this. "Sergeant Kinchloe, until Colonel Hogan has recovered sufficiently, you are the acting Senior POW officer."

"Yes, sir," Kinch replied. "I understand, sir."

"Very well. Schultz, you can dismiss your prisoners." He saluted.

"Jawohl, Herr Kommandant." Schultz saluted. As Klink walked away, the fat guard spun around and faced the prisoners. "All prisoners, dismissed." Then, he slowly trudged away while the prisoners all dispersed with the exception of Carter, Newkirk and LeBeau who gathered around Kinch. The four of them re-entered the barracks just as Wilson emerged from Hogan's quarters carrying a bowl and washcloth.

"How is the Colonel?" asked LeBeau, concern on his face. "We heard from Schultz that his temperature went up to 102?"

"I'm afraid so," Wilson replied. I just gave him two aspirin and a cough suppressant. I've been applying cold compresses to his forehead hoping to bring down his temperature. I just wish I had some penicillin. It would go a long way towards stopping a secondary pneumonia from developing."

Kinch looked determined. "I'll radio London right away and have them airdrop some penicillin, Joe." He headed towards the bunk and hit the hidden mechanism.

"Kinch, Make sure London understands the Colonel's condition and that it's urgent they send it," Wilson told him.

"Don't worry, I will. Count on it," Kinch replied as he stepped over the bedframe and onto the ladder. He quickly disappeared from sight.

Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk looked at Wilson. "What can we do for the Gov'nor, Joe?" asked Newkirk.

"LeBeau, I want you to prepare a light broth for the Colonel. We have to keep fluids in him to keep him from becoming dehydrated."

"Oui, right away." The little Frenchman raced to the stove to prepare the broth for his Colonel.

"Carter, I need you to get me a fresh bowl of cold water. We need to keep applying cold compresses. I've got to get that fever down." He handed Carter the bowl and washcloth. The young sergeant smiled at the medic as he took it and headed towards the sink.

"What about me?" asked Newkirk. "Anything I can do for the Colonel?"

"Yes there is, Newkirk. I'm gonna need you to help me with the Colonel. Now I know I said nobody was to enter his room except me, but I think I've come up a way around that. If any of you four need to go into the Colonel's quarters, make sure you hold a cloth to your mouth and nose to prevent you from breathing in any germs and you should be fine."

"Just tell me when you need us, Joe. We'd do anything for the Colonel."

"I know you would. If I'm not here, I want you to follow my orders and make sure the Colonel has broth for his meals and perhaps some tea. He needs a light diet right now. And most of all he needs complete bedrest."

"Got it."

Just then, Carter returned with a bowl of cold water and a clean washcloth and handed it to Wilson. The medic glanced at LeBeau.

"LeBeau, when the broth is ready, bring a cup of it into the Colonel's quarters. Just make sure you keep your mouth and nose covered with a cloth."

"Oui, I will follow your orders to the letter," he replied as he stirred the homemade beef broth. "And we will advise Kinch of what you said when he gets back."

"Good. Thanks." Wilson disappeared back inside Hogan's quarters and shut the door, leaving Newkirk, Carter and LeBeau gazing at the closed door with apprehension.

"I hope the Gov'nor gets well soon," Newkirk said. "I'm really worried about him."

"Oui," added LeBeau. "So am I. I need to apologize to him for my attitude. But first we must get him well."

"I just wish there was more we could do," said Carter as he sat down on his bunk. He suddenly jumped up when he sat on something hard under his blanket. "What the heck!" he announced.

Newkirk and LeBeau both turned. "What's wrong, Andrew?" asked Newkirk.

Carter rubbed his backside. "I just sat on something hard that's under my blanket."

Newkirk walked over to have a look and saw a square shape the size of a hardcover book under the blanket in the middle of the bunk. "What the hell is it?" he asked.

"Darn if I know," the young sergeant replied.

"Well why don't you pull back the blanket and see?" the Englander suggested with mild annoyance.

Gripping the end of his blanket, Carter yanked it back to reveal the square box. He picked it up and proceeded to open it. Both his and Newkirk's eyes widened in shock.

Inside the box were six sticks of dynamite wrapped together with a timer ticking off each second. The small clock showed only 3 seconds left.

"Get rid of it, Carter! Fast!" Newkirk yelled.

But before Carter could even move, the three seconds expired with nothing happening. Newkirk and Carter both looked at each other. LeBeau joined them attracted by Newkirk's yelling. He eyes widened. "Sacre chat!!!" he muttered under his breath.

Carter, having recovered his wits, closely examined the detonation device. "It's a fake," he exclaimed. "All of it. Even the dynamite is fake. Boy, some people have a lotta nerve."

"Who has a lotta nerve?" asked Kinch, returning from the tunnels. He hit the hidden mechanism and watched the lower bunk drop over the entrance. He approached the others and was stunned to see the device in Carter's hands. "Where'd you get that?" he asked.

"Somebody put it in Carter's bed under the blanket and he sat on it," said Newkirk.

"And by the time we saw what it was there were only 3 seconds left on the timer," Carter added. "But the entire thing's a fake. The dynamite, everything."

Kinch, taking the box from Carter, looked closely at it. "Somebody's got a twisted sense of humour," he remarked. "Wait a minute. There's a note under the dynamite." With a bit of effort, Kinch managed to extract the folded paper. On its cover was written Carter's name. Kinch handed the folded paper to Carter, who proceeded to unfold it and read the message aloud.

" 'Dear Sergeant Carter. I know how much you enjoy explosives. So, I thought you'd get a BANG outta this one. Hope you enjoy mine as much as I enjoy yours.' " Carter looked at his three friends, puzzled.

"Blimey," replied Newkirk as he took the paper from Carter's hands and looked at it. "I'd say we have a real problem on our hands, mates."

"No fooling," added Kinch with a sigh. "And we can't mention it to Colonel Hogan either. In his condition he couldn't handle hearing this."

"**HE** couldn't handle it?" exclaimed Carter, who just now was feeling a delayed reaction to his experience. "I don't think **I** can handle it. I mean, I **sat** on the darn thing."

"Speaking of Colonel Hogan," LeBeau interrupted. "What did London say when you told them about the Colonel's illness? When are they going to airdrop the penicillin?"

Kinch sighed. "They're not."

"**Why the bloody hell not?!**"Newkirk exploded before anybody else could respond. "After all he's done for those bleedin' hearts."

Kinch held up both hands. "Just hold on a minute. They're not gonna do the airdrop because they're socked in by a blizzard right now. No planes can take off. They said once the snow stops and the weather clears a bit, they'll send the penicillin right away."

"Ruddy good that'll do the Gov'nor in the meanwhile. Kinch, while you were gone, Wilson had some instructions for us you should know about."


	7. Chapter 7We Need Sherlock Holmes

**Chapter 7 --- We Need Sherlock Holmes**

LeBeau, with a handkerchief tied around his nose and mouth, carried a cup of hot beef broth into the Colonel's quarters and handed it to Wilson, who was seated in a chair beside the bed, gently patting a cold cloth on Hogan's face. Accepting the cup, he placed it on the Colonel's footlocker to allow it to cool a bit before attempting to try and get the Colonel to eat. LeBeau quietly left after glancing at his commanding officer's face. There were beads of perspiration breaking out from the 102 fever. Swallowing hard, the Frenchman quietly left the room. He had never seen his Colonel this ill before and it distressed him.

After leaving the room, the little Frenchman removed the handkerchief and quietly poured himself a cup of coffee. He sat down at the table with the others.

"You all right, Louie?" asked Newkirk gently.

LeBeau took a sip of his coffee before answering. "I'll be all right," he replied just as gently. "It's just that I've never seen the Colonel so ill before and it scares me."

Kinch put a hand on LeBeau's shoulder. "We're all worried about the Colonel, Louie. But Wilson's gonna do everything he can for him. And I'm gonna make sure London drops that penicillin as soon as they can get a plane up in the air. Until then, we'll do whatever Wilson needs us to do to help the Colonel get well."

"I know, mon ami," LeBeau added quietly. He took another drink of coffee.

"Right now we have an even bigger problem," explained Kinch. "We have to find out who sent those letters to Newkirk, that package to me, and put that detonation device in Carter's bunk."

"But just how did he get into the barracks is what I'd like to know," said Newkirk. "I mean, we were all outside at roll call. The only ones in the barracks at the time was the Gov'nor and Sergeant Wilson. Did Wilson say whether or not he had seen anybody come in while we were all outside?"

"I asked him when I had a moment," said Kinch. "He doesn't recall seeing or hearing anybody. But then again, he was in the Colonel's quarters much of the time."

"So anybody could've slipped in here and planted that fake bomb," said LeBeau.

"Wait a minute," Carter chimed in. "If we were all outside for roll call, how did somebody get past us to begin with? I mean, we woulda seen somebody enter the barracks. We did see Wilson after all."

Kinch's eyes narrowed as he thought about what Carter had just said. "Y'know something. Carter may just have a point. We were all outside at roll call. We saw Wilson when he passed us by to enter the barracks. If anybody else entered the barracks, we would have seen him. Unless...." he scratched his chin, lost in thought.

"Unless what, mate?"

"Unless this person was hiding somewhere in the tunnels, heard us go outside for roll call, waited until the barracks was empty, came up from below, planted the device in Carter's bed and disappeared back down into the tunnels."

"Now there's a thought that bloody scares the hell outta me," Newkirk replied lighting a cigarette.

"Yeah, me too," Carter added. "I mean if somebody can sneak in here using the tunnels than there's no telling what...."

"Carter, shut up!" Newkirk told him, exasperated. He looked at Kinch. "So what are we going to do? You have any ideas?"

"Yeah, I do. We're gonna have to check out every prisoner and every guard here in camp. We haven't had any visitors lately so we don't have to worry about that. Newkirk, in the morning right after roll call, I want you and LeBeau to check out the guards starting with Schultz. Carter, I want you to start checking out the other prisoners."

"What about you?" asked LeBeau. "What are you gonna be doing?"

"I'll have to remain here in case Joe needs help with the Colonel. We are the only four allowed to go into the Colonel's quarters other than Wilson. But....Andrew, I'll take over checking out the prisoners after about four hours."

"Boy, you know who we really need to help us solve this mystery?" said Carter with a sigh.

"Who?" asked Kinch.

"We need Sherlock Holmes(1), that's who."

Kinch, LeBeau and Newkirk all looked at Carter and chuckled.

Inside Hogan's quarters, Wilson held Hogan's head up and slowly held the cup with the broth in it to his lips.

"Sip it slowly, Colonel," he advised the sick officer.

Hogan slowly finished half of the cup, and indicated with a wave of his hand he didn't want anymore. Wilson lowered the Colonel's head back onto the pillow, and put the cup with the remainder of the soup in it on the footlocker. He then soaked the washcloth in the cool water in the bowl and wrung it out. Placing the cool cloth across Hogan's forehead, he noticed the Colonel turn his head slightly and look at him through barely open eyes.

"Joe, you still here?" he said in a weak, raspy voice.

"Try not to use your voice to much, Colonel," Wilson replied, resting a hand on Hogan's shoulder. "You're still a very sick man. How do you feel?"

"Like I've been run over by a tank. What's wrong with me anyway?"

"You've got influenza, Colonel and a fever of 102 at the moment. I've quarantined you in your quarters."

"Influenza? But that's highly contagious isn't it?" Hogan, sweating profusely at the moment, was becoming agitated. "The entire camp could be affected."

"Take it easy. I've checked out everybody in the barracks and you appear to be the only one who's sick. That's why I had you quarantined. The only ones allowed in here for now besides me are Kinch, Carter, Newkirk and LeBeau."

"But you just said...."

"I've made sure they take precautions when they come in here. As long as they cover their noses and mouths they won't be able to breathe in any germs and should be fine."

Hogan rubbed his chest. "I feel so congested and nauseous."

"I know. I only have aspirin and a cough suppressant to give you. I didn't have any penicillin. Kinch contacted London about making an airdrop, but right now they're having a blizzard and can't get any planes in the air. So right now, it'll have to be the aspirin, cough suppressant and cold compresses. We have to get that fever down and hopefully prevent secondary pneumonia from developing."

Hogan gave a weak smile. "How's everything so far? Everything under control?" he asked.

Wilson shrugged. "All right so far. I know you didn't plan on getting sick, much less being quarantined, Colonel. But believe me when I tell you everything's under control. So try not to worry."

"Can't help but worry," Hogan had a sudden bout of coughing which thankfully didn't last but a few seconds. Taking a deep breath, Hogan ran a hand across his damp face. "My men...."

"Try not to worry. As I told you, everything's under control. Colonel?" Wilson leaned over Hogan to make sure he was still breathing and satisfied he was, noticed Hogan had fallen asleep. The medic turned to compress over so the cool side made contact with Hogan's forehead. Sighing wearily, he got to his feet and quietly left the room and closed the door.

Stretching his arms and stifling a yawn, Wilson grabbed a coffee cup and poured himself some coffee. He collapsed onto the bench. Putting the coffee cup in front of him, he rubbed his face with both hands before finally taking a drink of coffee.

"How you holding out, Joe?" asked Kinch looking at the medic. "You look exhausted."

"I'm okay," he muttered. "I just could use a couple hours sleep."

Kinch looked at Wilson. "Look, Joe, why don't you sack out for a couple of hours. I'll take over. The guys told me what to do to protect ourselves. I can sit with the Colonel, and if anything happens I'll wake you immediately."

Wilson looked at the four men and sighed. He was very tired. Finally, he looked directly at Kinch. "You got a deal, Kinch. Is there an empty bunk I can use?"

Kinch looked around the barracks for a moment. "Yeah, you can use the lower bunk near the Colonel's quarters. Corporal Mailer is in the infirmary for the next ten days at least."

"Thanks, Kinch." Wilson finished his coffee. "Before I forget. Colonel Hogan's finished half the broth LeBeau made. In about thirty minutes he'll need to take two more aspirin and a teaspoonful of the cough suppressant. You'll find both on the footlocker. Also, make sure you keep bathing his face with cool water. We need to get his fever down." He then turned to LeBeau. "LeBeau, heat some water for tea, and when it's ready make sure to take a cup into the Colonel."

"Oui. It will be done."

"Joe, let me ask you something," said Kinch.

"Sure. What do you want to know?"

Kinch momentarily glanced at the others before turning back to the medic. "Just how is Colonel Hogan? Really."

Wilson pursed his lips and folded his arms. "He's a very sick man right now. If we can get his fever down he's got a good chance for a full recovery. But I'd feel a lot better if I had penicillin. The last thing he needs is to develop pneumonia. Because if he does, he'll really be in trouble."

(1) The fictional character of Sherlock Holmes was created by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.


	8. Chapter 8Making Up Isn't Hard to Do

**Chapter 8 --- Making Up Isn't Hard To Do**

Kinch sat in the chair beside Hogan's bunk with his handkerchief around his face covering his nose and mouth. He watched his sleeping commanding officer with concern. He had seen Hogan in every possible state: angry, enraged, happy, sad, even ill. But never did he ever recall seeing him **this **ill. He soaked the washcloth in the bowl of cold water and wrung it out. It was while he was patting Hogan's face with it that the Colonel's eyes slightly opened.

"Kinch," he whispered with a weak smile.

"I hope I didn't wake you, Colonel," Kinch asked, tossing the washcloth back in the bowl. He checked his watch. "Time for you to have more aspirin and cough suppressant. Wilson's orders."

Hogan tried to look amused as he let his hand massage his forehead. "Wonderful," he muttered.

Kinch proceeded to pour a glass of water from the old pitcher. He then picked up the aspirin bottle and shook two tablets into his hand. He handed them to Hogan who put them in his mouth. Kinch held Hogan's head slightly elevated and put the glass to his lips. Hogan managed to swallow the pills. Kinch laid his head back down. He repeated the procedure with the cough suppressant. He noticed even the effort of swallowing seemed to exhaust the Colonel.

"What's happening in the outside world? Anything new?"

Kinch sighed. He wanted to tell Hogan what was happening, but he knew as sick as the Colonel was, he would not be able to help, and would worry instead of concentrating on getting well.

"Everything's quiet, Colonel," he said. "Kinda dull really."

"No messages from London?"

"None. Oh, we informed London about your illness. They pass on their wishes for a speedy recovery."

Hogan, despite how lousy he felt, managed a weak chuckle. "How nice," he replied with just a touch of sarcasm.

Kinch wrung out the washcloth again and laid it across Hogan's forehead.

"Kinch, what about that package you got, and those letters sent to Newkirk? Any ideas who sent them yet?" Hogan turned his head away as he suffered a bout of coughing. Swallowing hard, he then turned back to the radioman who put a hand on Hogan's shoulder.

"Take it easy, Colonel. Probably just somebody with a crazy sense of humour. You need to rest in order to get better. Also, we need to get your fever down. Which reminds me...." Kinch picked up the thermometer sitting in a glass of alcohol and shook it. He put it under Hogan's tongue and then checked his pulse as he waited. After a few moments Kinch removed the thermometer and looked at it. "Well, looks like your fever's gone down to 101. It's not much but at least it didn't go up." He shook the thermometer again before replacing it in the glass of alcohol. "Your pulse sounds good as well."

Hogan smiled. "You mean I'm still alive? I feel more like I'm dead."

Kinch smiled. He looked at his watch. "Le Beau's making you some tea. He'll bring it in when it's ready." He saw Hogan's face at the mentioning of tea. "I know you'd prefer coffee, but Wilson's orders. Coffee's not on the menu until you're better. But you'd better get some sleep now. LeBeau will be in later with the tea."

"Thanks, Kinch," Hogan replied sleepily.

"For what, Colonel?" asked Kinch, getting up.

"For looking after things for me." Hogan drifted off to sleep.

Kinch smiled grimly as he quietly left the room closing the door.

When Kinch approached the table, he saw Newkirk and Carter playing gin rummy. LeBeau was busy preparing tea for the Colonel. They all watched the radioman as he wearily sat down. Kinch rubbed his face with both hands.

"How's Colonel Hogan?" asked Carter as he tossed out a card.

"He woke up for a short time and asked about how things were going and what was happening as far as the letters sent to Newkirk and that package sent to me."

Newkirk picked up the card Carter had discarded. "You didn't tell him about what happened with Carter, did you?" He laid down his cards. "Gin." He forced a smile to appear.

"No, of course not. I told him everything was fine and things were quiet. I gave him two aspirin and a teaspoon of cough suppressant. His fever's gone down to 101 from 102."

"It's not much of a drop but at least it didn't go up further," said LeBeau, pouring the hot water into Hogan's coffee cup. He had gotten a teabag from Newkirk.

Kinch glanced over to the far corner and saw Wilson still asleep. "Joe must've been exhausted," he remarked. "I hope he sleeps through the night or at least several hours anyway."

"The Colonel's tea is ready," the Frenchman announced. "I am going to take it into him." He tied his handkerchief around the lower part of his face. Then, he walked towards the Colonel's closed door and knocked on it. He heard a weak voice bid him to enter. Opening the door, LeBeau approached Hogan's bunk. He sat the coffee cup on the footlocker. He then noticed Hogan looking at him as he sat down beside the bed.

"How do you feel, mon Colonel?" he asked.

"Like a German tank ran over me twice," Hogan knew it was his weak attempt at humor. "How are you, LeBeau? Really."

LeBeau shrugged. "I'm all right, mon Colonel. But it is you I am worried about."

Hogan smiled weakly. "I'll live. Don't worry about me." Hogan licked his dry lips. "LeBeau....I need to say something to you."

LeBeau smiled and held up a hand, stopping him. "Mon Colonel. It is I who has something to say to you."

"What's that?"

LeBeau looked down at his hands in his lap. "I want to apologize for my behavior when you announced you intended to ask Marya to marry you. I am ashamed of my behavior and disrespecting you, mon Colonel. I am sorry. I hope you can forgive me."

Hogan smiled weakly. "Nothing to forgive, LeBeau. I understand competely."

"I wish you and Marya nothing but the best."

"Thank you LeBeau."

With a smile on his face, LeBeau grabbed the coffee cup and blew on it to cool it even more. Then, he held Hogan's head up and brought the cup to his lips. Hogan sipped the tea and made a face.

"Just a bit more, Colonel. I put honey and lemon in it. We must keep fluids in you."

"I would prefer coffee. Tea is for Newkirk."

"Oui. But Wilson's orders. No coffee for the time being. Now c'mon, Colonel. Just drink a bit more. It's good for you."

Despite not liking tea, Hogan found himself emptying the cup. LeBeau laid Hogan's head back on the pillow. "Is there anything else I can get you before I leave, Colonel?"

"No thanks. I must remember to get back at Wilson for taking away my coffee."

LeBeau found himself chuckling as he removed the washcloth from the Colonel's forehead and picked up the bowl and pitcher. "I'll be right back, Colonel. I just need to get some fresh water." Hogan nodded sleepily as he closed his eyes.

The Frenchman was only gone for a few minutes before returning to Hogan's quarters with a bowl and pitcher full of cool, fresh water. Sitting them both down on the footlocker beside the bunk, LeBeau proceeded to soak the washcloth and wring it out. He noticed during his absence his commanding officer had fallen asleep. LeBeau gently laid the washcloth across Hogan's forehead.

"You must get well, mon Colonel," he said softly, looking at the sleeping American officer. Leaning forward LeBeau stroked Hogan's dark hair. "We will take care of you. So don't worry about a thing." He sighed wearily. "You said there was nothing to forgive. But you are wrong, mon Colonel. When you are well, I will make it up to you for my earlier behavior and disrespect of you."

The door to Hogan's quarters opened quietly causing LeBeau to look around. He saw Wilson standing in the doorway.

"How's he doing, LeBeau?" Wilson asked rubbing the back of his neck.

"He finished the tea I made. Kinch gave him the aspirin and cough suppressant. And his fever's gone down to 101. I just got fresh water in the bowl and the pitcher. He's sleeping right now."

"Take a break LeBeau," Wilson replied. "I can take over now. Thanks a lot."

"You are welcome," LeBeau said getting up. He started towards the door. "What should I prepare for the Colonel's breakfast?"

"Keep it on the light side," Wilson told him. "Tea and some broth. Nothing greasy or heavy right now."

"Oui. I understand. Goodnight." LeBeau left the room.

Sighing, Wilson removed his stethoscope from his medical bag and listened to Hogan's chest. Finished, he replaced the stethoscope in his bag and checked his patient's pulse. Satisfied, he leaned back in his chair with a sigh.

"Fortunately, your lungs sound clear and your pulse and heart sound good," he said softly. "But I still wish I had penicillin to keep you from possibly developing secondary pneumonia." Wilson shook his head sadly. He was glad Hogan was sleeping and couldn't hear him. The last thing he wanted was to give Hogan something else to worry about.


	9. Chapter 9Date and Time

**Chapter 9 --- Date and Time **

The following day several hours after roll call, Sergeant Schultz ambled inside the barracks carrying a handful of mail. There were two for the Colonel which he handed to Kinch. There were also single envelopes for LeBeau, Carter, Newkirk and Kinch. Each man took his envelope with apprehension on his face as they looked at each other.

"How is Colonel Hogan today?" asked Schultz.

"His fever's gone down to 101 since yesterday," LeBeau replied. "But other than that, he's still very sick. It's too bad Sergeant Wilson doesn't have any penicillin on hand."

"Why is that?" asked the rotund Sergeant, perplexed.

"Well...." Kinch explained, "According to Wilson, the penicillin might keep the Colonel from developing secondary pneumonia. Without it, all he has is aspirin and a cough suppressant."

Schultz pursed his lips. "I will speak to the Kommandant and see what can be done to get Sergeant Wilson some penicillin. But, I can't promise anything."

"That's awfully nice of you, Schultzie," replied LeBeau. "Even if it doesn't work out, thank you anyway for trying."

"You're welcome. But I have to get back to my post," Schultz told them. "I will stop by later after I speak with the Kommandant." He left the barracks, closing the door behind him. After Schultz had departed, the four men all looked at the letters in their hands.

"Well," said Kinch nervously. "Who's going to open theirs first?"

With a sigh, Newkirk ripped open his envelope. "Might as well be me, I guess." He removed the folded single sheet of paper and read it aloud. "Dear Peter. I am anxiously counting the days and hours until we can meet face-to-face. I hope this letter finds you and your friends well and safe. I'm writing to tell you I will be coming to your camp in two days. I should be there about two p.m. I'll come to your barracks. Until then, Gertrude." Newkirk collapsed onto one of the benches. He rubbed the back of his neck. "This can't bloody be happening," he muttered. "I still can't remember this bird."

"Maybe she'll come back to you when you meet her face-to-face in two days," LeBeau muttered, annoyed. "This is all your fault. How could you let someone know about us and our operation and then not remember it?"

"Lay off, LeBeau!" Newkirk replied, equally annoyed. "I wouldn't tell anybody, bird or otherwise, about us or our operation and you know it!"

"Well apparently you did this time, old buddy," added Kinch. He sighed. "Guess I'll open mine next." He ripped open his envelope and removed the folded single sheet of paper. Unfolding it, he read it aloud. "Dear Sergeant Kinchloe. I have decided to meet you for our match in two days at about two p.m. Don't bother trying to find me. I'll come to your barracks."

There was no signature.

"Same time and day as this bird named Gertrude," remarked Newkirk. He looked at Carter. "What about yours, mate?"

Carter reluctantly opened his and read it aloud. "Dear Sergeant Carter. Hope I didn't scare you too much with my fake bomb. But knowing how much you like explosives, I thought you'd enjoy it. I meant no harm. However, We need to talk about it. I will come to your barracks in two days at about two p.m. Until then." There was no signature.

LeBeau didn't wait to be asked. He hastily ripped open his envelope and removed a folded single sheet of paper. Unfolding it, he read it to the others. "My Dearest Little One. I hope this letter finds you well. I know by now you are probably aware that Colonel Hogan and I are seriously involved and I suspect he might be ready to ask for my hand in marriage. I am sorry if I hurt you. I will be coming to Stalag 13 in two days and should be there about two p.m. We will talk then. Be well my little one. Love, Marya." LeBeau swallowed the lump in his throat. He looked up at the others.

"Sorry, Louie," said Carter gently.

"It's okay," LeBeau replied. "I will wish her well when she gets here. And I have apologized to the Colonel."

"What about the letters for the Gov'nor, Kinch?" asked Newkirk.

Kinch, removing the Colonel's two envelopes from his pocket, looked at the front of each. "One's from his mother in Ohio. The other is simply addressed to Colonel Robert Hogan with no name or return address."

"You'd better take them in to the Colonel," said LeBeau. "The one with no return address might be from Marya."

"Guess you're right." Kinch tied his handkerchief around the lower half of his face and walked to Hogan's closed door. He knocked and heard Wilson urge him to enter. Kinch walked in and closed the door. He watched the medic bath Hogan's face with the washcloth. "How is he, Joe?"

Tossing the washcloth into the bowl, Wilson dried his hands on a small towel. "At least he's not getting any worse."

"Schultz said he would speak with the Kommandant about trying to get some penicillin for you."

Wilson allowed a slight smile to appear. "Penicillin might not help with the influenza, but it would go a long way in preventing him from getting secondary pneumonia which will definitely cause serious problems." He noticed the envelopes in Kinch's hands. "Are those for the Colonel?"

"Yeah." Kinch handed them to Wilson. "One's from the Colonel's mother. The other has no name or return address on it."

"Open it," said a weak voice.

Kinch and Wilson both looked at the bed and noticed Hogan's barely open eyes looking at them.

"You sure, Colonel?" asked Wilson.

"Yeah. Open it, Joe. Could be from Marya."

With a sigh, Wilson ripped open the envelope and removed a single sheet of folded paper. Unfolding it, he read it aloud. "Hogan Darling. This is your Marya. I hope you are well and can't wait to see you. We have lots to talk about. I will be coming to Stalag 13 in two days and should arrive at about two p.m. I can't wait Hogan darling. Until then, Marya." Wilson held the other letter in his hand. "Do you want me to open the one from your mother, Colonel?"

"Later," Hogan whispered.

Wilson slowly got to his feet. "Kinch, can you sit with the Colonel for a few minutes? I need to get some fresh water and take a break."

"Sure, Joe. Take as long as you need." The radioman sat down in the chair beside the bed. He noticed Hogan's dull eyes looking at him.

"What aren't you telling me, Kinch?" Hogan asked.

"Nothing, Colonel," Kinch lied. "Everything's fine. Really."

"Kinch, I know when one of my men is lying to me. Something's wrong. Now what is it?"

Letting out a deep breath, Kinch clasped his hands in his lap. He stared at his commanding officer. "We're worried about you, Colonel. I mean, what if Schultz can't convince the Kommandant to get the penicillin? Or what if Klink can't get it? You could develop pneumonia and then you're gonna be in real trouble."

Hogan ran one hand over his damp black hair. "Everything will be all right, Kinch. It will. But there's something else going on that you're not telling me. As your commanding officer I order you to tell me what's going on."

Before Kinch could think of a response, the door opened and Wilson walked in carrying a bowl and pitcher full of clean, fresh cool water.

"Thanks, Kinch. I'll take over now."

Hogan's eyes shifted from Kinch to Wilson. He knew with Wilson back there was no chance he'd get an answer from Kinch. But he was more positive than ever something was being kept from him. He could wait despite not being a patient man normally. But he also knew with Wilson keeping an eye on him he'd have to pick his spot carefully. As Wilson sat down, Kinch quietly left the room.

"What happened?" asked LeBeau.

Kinch untied the handkerchief and tucked it back in his pocket. "I think the Colonel's suspicious something's going on," he explained.

"Why?" asked Newkirk. "What did he say?"

"He said he believed there was something I wasn't telling him. So, I told him we were worried about what could happen if Klink couldn't get the penicillin."

"Did he buy it?" asked Carter.

"No. He even went so far as to order me to tell him what I was keeping from him. Thank God Joe returned at that moment because I had no idea what to tell him."

Newkirk lit a cigarette. He took a long drag on it. "I'll tell you one thing. The Colonel, sick or not, isn't gonna let it go. We'd better come up with something to tell 'im and quick."

"Y'know, something just occured to me," Kinch remarked with narrowed eyes.

"What's that?" asked LeBeau.

"These letters we all received today, including the one the Colonel received from Marya which he had Wilson open and read to him while I was there all have one thing in common. I don't know why I didn't see it before."

"See what?" asked LeBeau, annoyance showing. "Are you going to keep it to yourself or let us in on it?"

"All these letters say the same thing when you think about it. Each of them says we will meet the senders of these letters here in the barracks in two days at two p.m."

"What do you think we should do?" asked Carter. "I mean, we already checked out the other prisoners and the guards and struck out completely. Even Schultz didn't know anything."

"That's nothing new with Schultz," added LeBeau.

"So what do we do then?" asked Newkirk. "And what do we say to Colonel Hogan when he asks?"

"The only thing we can do right now," said Kinch letting out a deep breath. "Is wait and see what happens in two days when these people show up. As far as the Colonel is concerned, I haven't the slightest idea what to tell him. He already suspects I'm lying to him or at least withholding something from him. I have absolutely no idea how long I can keep it up."

"Maybe we should discuss it with Wilson when he takes his next break. He might be able to come up with something."

"That's a good idea, LeBeau," Kinch told him. "Wilson can always make it doctor's orders."

"But that won't even hold the Colonel for long," chimed in Carter. "You know how Colonel Hogan is when he thinks we're hiding something from him."

"You're right there, mate," Newkirk agreed. "But this time, not telling him what's going on is for his own good. He's too sick to help, and needs to concentrate on getting well and not worrying about this."


	10. Chapter 10Secrets

**Chapter 10 --- Secrets**

Hogan's fever broke during the wee hours of the morning. But during his illness he had been pumped full of LeBeau's beef broth, cups of tea with lemon and honey, aspirin, cough suppressant and cold compresses. Klink had even managed, with a bit of negotiation, to obtain three vials of penicillin for Sergeant Wilson with the medic immediately giving an injection to Hogan.

After his examination, Wilson announced Hogan was no longer considered to be contagious. The quarantine sign and duct tape were removed, and the men informed they no longer had to cover their mouths and noses to keep from breathing in germs when entering the Colonel's quarters.

Having taken the Colonel's temperature, Wilson checked the thermometer while seated beside the bed as Hogan sat up in bed. He was weak and tired, but at least he no longer felt nauseous.

"Well? Am I going to live?" he asked jokingly.

"I'm happy to say your temperature's down but not quite normal, Colonel. How do you feel?"

Hogan sighed. "Tired, weak and bored out of my mind. When can I get out of this bed, Joe?"

"I want you to stay in bed for another week just to be on the safe side. The penicillin injection I gave you will hopefully keep you from developing pneumonia, and I still want you on a light diet for now. After a week we'll see about gradually getting you back on solid food. As far as getting out of bed, I will allow you short intervals of getting out of bed for a few minutes today and each day for slightly longer periods each time. But don't push yourself. If you find yourself becoming tired, lay down. And should I discover you not following my orders I'll make sure you stay in bed with restraints to keep you there. Do we understand each other, Colonel?" Wilson stared at Hogan with arms folded.

Hogan rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Understood," he muttered. "Anything to get you off my case."

Wilson smiled with satisfaction knowing he had at least won this round with the Colonel. Leaning back in his chair, Wilson crossed his legs, and looked at Hogan with a serious expression. "Colonel, do you think we should tell them?"

Hogan mulled over the medic's words as he wrapped his arms around himself. He leaned the back of his head against the wall. "No. I don't want them to know just yet. But I promise you, I will tell them soon."

All Wilson could do was shake his head. "I only hope they aren't too upset when they find out."

LeBeau, Carter, Kinch and Newkirk all sat at the table drinking coffee. Newkirk had lit a cigarette. The tension of the past few days had lifted the moment Wilson informed them that Hogan's fever had finally broken.

"Now that the Colonel's fever has broken, perhaps he will soon get well," LeBeau said.

"I hope so," Kinch added thoughtfully. "He was so ill I was actually afraid for his life. I'm just grateful Klink managed to obtain that penicillin."

"Moi aussi," replied LeBeau. "But something still bothers me."

"What's that?" asked Newkirk, taking a drag on his cigarette.

"I have this feeling that Wilson and the Colonel are not telling us something," LeBeau replied. "That they are hiding something from us. Something bad."

"How can you say that? You heard Wilson say now that the Colonel's fever's broken he should recover," Kinch told him. "What makes you think they're hiding something?"

"I can't explain it," LeBeau replied looking Kinch in the face. "I just feel it in here." He tapped with his fingers on his chest, over his heart. "I feel something is very wrong with the Colonel and that his recent illness is only the beginning."

"You mean you think something's really wrong with Colonel Hogan that he and Sergeant Wilson aren't telling us?" asked Carter softly.

"Oui," LeBeau replied. "That is exactly what I am saying."

Before anybody else could respond, the door to Hogan's quarters opened and Wilson walked out carrying his medical bag, closing the door behind him. Sighing wearily, the medic grabbed an empty coffee cup from the table and poured himself a cup of coffee. He sat down and took a long drink of the hot brew. He noticed Hogan's men staring at him.

"Something wrong?" he asked, returning their stares.

"Joe, we need to ask you something," Kinch began nervously. "And please don't con us. We'd like an honest answer from you."

"Okay. What is it you want to know?" Wilson knew what was coming and he was ready to respond as best he could.

"Joe, what's wrong with Colonel Hogan? We mean **really** wrong with him?" asked Kinch.

Wilson let out a deep breath. "Well, he will recover from the influenza. His temperature's down, but I want to give it another week to be certain he's completely over it."

"That's not what we meant," LeBeau commented. "Don't ask me to explain it because I can't. It's just that....well, I just have a feeling that there's something you and the Colonel are not telling us. Something that may be wrong with Colonel Hogan that neither of you feel we should know about."

Wilson sighed. He knew this would come eventually. But it wasn't his place to say anything. He turned his attention to the four men.

"As I've said, the Colonel will recover from the influenza if he follows my orders. There is nothing else wrong with him, and I'm being honest with all of you. Believe me when I say the only thing wrong with Colonel Hogan is that he had the flu, nothing else."

He noticed Newkirk was about to ask a question. "But there is something the Colonel wants to discuss with all of you," Wilson cut Newkirk off before he could utter a word. He finished his coffee and got up. "I'm heading back to my barracks. The Colonel should sleep for awhile. I suggest none of you pester him about what it is he wants to discuss with you. He will tell you when he's ready. But again, just let me repeat myself by saying he will be fine if he gives himself time to recover from the flu." That said, Wilson turned and left the barracks, leaving four very confused men at the table.

"What do you think the Colonel wants to talk to us about?" LeBeau asked.

"I have no bloody idea, mate. But at least we know now there's nothing seriously wrong with the Gov'nor," Newkirk chimed in.

"Do you think what the Colonel wants to tell us is serious?" asked Carter.

"Well, whatever it is," Kinch added. "We have to do what Wilson says and not hound the Colonel to tell us. We'll just have to wait for him to decide when he's ready to let us know. Until then, we have to be there for him in every way."

"Meanwhile," said Newkirk with a sigh. "We still have to deal with the senders of those letters to me, that package to Kinch, not to mention that fake bomb in Carter's bed."

"Well, we can't mention any of that to Colonel Hogan. Especially now that he's recovering." Kinch drained his coffee cup. "Besides, according to those last letters we all received, we'll have our answers the day after tomorrow."


	11. Chapter 11One Day More to Go

**Chapter 11 --- One Day More To Go**

The following morning the men fell out early for roll call. And, as he had for the past several days, Schultz looked in Hogan's quarters and was pleased to see the American officer seated at his desk in his robe and pajamas. The rotund Sergeant then went to report to Klink that all prisoners were present and accounted for.

Klink was also pleased to hear from Wilson that Hogan's fever had broken and he was expected to recover, but that he wanted him to rest in bed for another week with gradual allowances out of bed to sit at his desk for short intervals. Klink granted Hogan another week to miss roll call until Wilson medically cleared Hogan completely.

After roll call, Kinch, Carter and Newkirk sat at the table. LeBeau poured warm leftover coffee for each of the three men and none for himself. He then sat down at the table.

"Y'know," Kinch remarked after taking a sip of coffee. "I've been thinking about this mystery we've been given."

"You've come up with something, mate?" asked Newkirk.

"I'm not sure, Newkirk. But having a chance to think about it, I began wondering if the senders of those letters to you, the package to me, the fake bomb in Carter's bed, and the letter to LeBeau from Marya are the work of one person instead of several different people."

"That doesn't make any bloody sense," said Newkirk. "Why would one person do all this?"

"I agree," added LeBeau. "What reason would one person have to do all this to each of us?"

"The only reason I can think of is that somehow, by some means, our operation has been compromised by someone and all this is that person's way of letting us know."

The men all exchanged concerned looks and heavy sighs.

"I think we had better check the tunnels right away," LeBeau insisted.

"I agree," Kinch added. "Someone could be hiding down there that we don't know about. And we'll have to be armed and search in pairs. I don't want anybody searching on their own. And we'll need two prisoners, armed, to stay in the barracks and guard the Colonel without him being aware he's being guarded. We can't take a chance if somebody has gotten in from the outside that they might harm the Colonel. And if he discovers he's being guarded he'll become suspicious."

"We might need extra men to help search the tunnels," Newkirk added.

"Then we'll pull them from other barracks. And they'll be armed as well. If we pull everyone from this barracks the Colonel really will get suspicious, and there's no need to worry him if we don't have to," Kinch said.

"But shouldn't Colonel Hogan be told there's a possibility the operation's been compromised?" asked Carter. "I mean he really should be told."

"Told what, Andrew?" asked Newkirk. "That someone **might** have compromised our operation? We have no proof of anything yet. But Kinch and LeBeau are both right. We'd better check the tunnels thoroughly." He and the others all got to their feet and followed Kinch to the bunk where he slapped the hidden mechanism. As the lower bunk rose and the ladder dropped, the men turned when they heard a door open and noticed Hogan slowly making his way to the potbelly stove. He paused when he saw his men all gathered at the entrance of the tunnel.

"What's going on?" he asked as he picked up an empty coffee cup from the table and started to pour.

"Nothing, Colonel," Kinch lied. "I was just gonna check my radio equipment and make sure everything's okay."

"And I have some explosives to work on for next time," Carter said innocently.

"And LeBeau and I have some repairs to make on some of the uniforms we wore last time," added Newkirk.

"Good idea," Hogan said. "Might as well take advantage of the down time with things being so quiet right now. Oh, Kinch?"

"What's up, Colonel?" Kinch asked, turning. "Can I do something for you?"

"I was curious as far as what's happening with those strange letters Newkirk received and that package you received. Anything new happen since I've been sick?" Hogan asked, looking at each man separately.

"You shouldn't be drinking coffee, mon Colonel," said LeBeau. "Sergeant Wilson recommended tea for you until further notice."

Hogan took a sip of the still warm coffee. "I won't tell if you won't," he joked. "Kinch, I believe I asked you a question."

Kinch hesitated briefly. "Nothing's happened since you got sick, Colonel. None of us have heard anything from whoever sent those letters and that package."

"That's strange," Hogan replied, curious. "I can't see someone going through all this and then it just stops. Something's not right. I bet my life on it."

"Colonel, until Wilson clears you medically...." Kinch explained. "....you're not gonna do anything about it. You're still recovering from a serious bout of influenza and you can't afford a relapse. If there's anything to worry about we'll take care of it."

"Kinch, I don't need a babysitter," Hogan said with just a touch of annoyance in his voice.

"Sergeant Wilson said you are to rest for another week, Gov'nor, and that's what you're going to do even if we have to lock you in your quarters and have Schultz stand guard outside your room," Newkirk added. "Besides, there's nothing happening anyway."

"Probably somebody's idea of a joke, boy," Carter chimed in. "I mean Colonel."

Hogan slowly sat down at the table. "You're probably right," he took another sip of coffee. He ran a hand over his dark hair. "Don't let me keep you fellas from what you were going to do," he said. "I'm just gonna finish my coffee and then return to my quarters and lay down for awhile."

"Then we'll see you later, Colonel," Kinch remarked. He stepped over the bedframe onto the ladder and climbed downstairs followed by LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk.

Hogan watched them all disappear down the ladder. He couldn't hide the smile on his face as he finished his coffee. He knew his men well enough to know when they were keeping something from him. But right now he wasn't going to pursue it. He would, however, wait until tomorrow.


	12. Chapter 12Answers

**Chapter 12---Answers**

Kinch and LeBeau searched several of the tunnels with Newkirk and Carter searching others. Kinch had ordered ten men from barracks five and six each and had them armed with orders to search the tunnels in teams of two with no-one going off and searching by himself under any circumstances.

At the same time, Kinch passed out weapons to Olsen and Walters with instructions they were not only not to let Colonel Hogan out of their sight, but they were not to let the Colonel know they were guarding him under any circumstances. When asked why, all Kinch would say is that there might be an unauthorized person in the tunnels who might want to hurt the Colonel.

It took several hours before every square inch of the tunnels and any hiding places within them were thoroughly searched, revealing nobody hiding anywhere. Kinch sent the extra men back to their respective barracks with orders not to discuss the matter with anybody. By the time Kinch, LeBeau, Carter and Newkirk climbed up the ladder and back into barracks two, Olsen and Walters both reported nobody had tried to hurt Colonel Hogan and that everything had been quiet while they were below.

Kinch collected all the weapons from LeBeau, Carter, Newkirk, Olsen and Walters and put them all back in their respective hiding places. Then he, Newkirk, Carter and LeBeau all sat down at the table, worried and concerned.

"Now what do we do?" asked Newkirk. "We searched the bleedin' tunnels and found nobody."

"And nobody tried to hurt the Colonel while we were gone," added LeBeau.

"Where do we look now?" asked Carter. "There doesn't seem to be anyplace else to look. I mean, we've checked the guards, the other prisoners, the tunnels and came up empty every time."

"I know, I know," Kinch replied pinching the bridge of his nose. For the first time, Kinch felt he was at a loss as far as where to look next for the sender or senders of their mysterious letters, package and fake bomb. He really needed to speak with the Colonel, but knew Hogan was recovering from a serious illness and it wouldn't be right to trouble him right now.

Just then, the door to the barracks opened and Wilson walked in with his medical bag. He sensed the tension in the common room.

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned. "Did something happen to the Colonel?"

"No, no," Kinch replied. "The Colonel's fine. It's just that we have a problem we really need to speak with the Colonel about."

"That's out of the question for now," Wilson replied adamantly. "I can't allow him in his weakened condition to be bombarded with problems right now. Not until he's stronger. But right now, I need to examine the Colonel, so if you'll excuse me." Wilson smiled at the four men as he walked towards Hogan's quarters, and opening the door, entered the Colonel's room, closing the door.

Hogan, sitting at his desk, looked up at Wilson with as he wrapped his arms around himself. "Well?" he asked.

"I gather you're going to tell them today, Colonel?" he asked with a serious look.

"I have to, Joe. He looked at his watch. "But not right now. It's eleven a.m. I'll wait until 2 p.m. to tell them." He sighed. "Joe, can you be here when I tell them?"

"Sure. I can be here if you think it's necessary for me to."

"I do. At least it'll make things easier if you are."

"Then I'll be here. But now, Colonel...." Sitting his medical bag on top of the desk, Wilson opened it and removed his stethoscope. "I need to examine you and see how you're doing. So, if you'll unbutton your pajama top we can get started."

Hours later, the men of several barracks including barracks two, were all outside in the compound involved in various activities. However, Kinch, Carter, LeBeau and Newkirk were all standing around near the Kommandantur keeping their eyes open for any sign of the sender of the letters to Newkirk, the package to Kinch, and the arrival of Marya.

Kinch checked his watch. It was one-forty-five p.m. Fifteen minutes before they would get the answers to their questions. The men noticed Wilson heading in the direction of barracks two.

"Joe, wait up!!!" Kinch shouted as he and the other men ran over to where Wilson stopped and waited.

"You want to speak with me, Kinch?"

"We noticed you heading back in the direction of barracks two and were wondering if someone sent for you regarding the Colonel."

"Nobody sent for me, and there's nothing to worry about. However, the Colonel wanted me to be present when he spoke with all of you at 2 p.m."

"Two p.m.?" asked Carter. "Isn't that the same time as...." he paused when LeBeau's elbow jabbed him in the ribs.

"Same time as what?" asked Wilson, puzzled.

"Nothing, Joe. Nothing at all," Carter replied.

Wilson looked at the men and could tell they all appeared concerned and worried about something. He only hoped that when they spoke with the Colonel, he could alleviate those worries and concerns. He turned and walked away and entered barracks two.

Carter looked at his watch nervously. "It's ten minutes to two. How much longer are we gonna wait?"

The men looked at each other.

"Let's give it another five minutes before we go inside," Kinch said. "Hopefully, whatever the Colonel has to tell us won't take too long."

"Strange thing is...." LeBeau mentioned. "I haven't seen Marya at all. Do you think she is even coming? Perhaps she's changed her mind about Colonel Hogan."

"Or perhaps she's just running late," Kinch reminded the Frenchman. "You know how women are."

"But not my Marya. She would not be late for anything."

Newkirk rolled his eyes in exasperation. "LeBeau, are you gonna start this again with this woman? I thought we had already settled this. You did apologize to the Gov'nor after all."

"Doesn't mean I can't dream, does it?" said LeBeau.

Kinch again looked at his watch. He sighed wearily. "It's five minutes to two. I guess we'd better get inside and see what the Colonel wants to talk to us about." With the others trailing behind him, Kinch walked into the barracks. It didn't surprise any of the four to see the entire barracks practically empty as most of the men were still outside. Kinch led the way to Hogan's quarters and knocked on the door. He heard Hogan bid them to enter.

Opening the door, the men saw Hogan sitting up in bed in his robe and pajamas with arms wrapped around himself. Wilson was seated at the Colonel's desk. Kinch closed the door.

"You wanted to see us, Colonel?" asked Carter.

Hogan smiled. "Yeah, Carter, I did. Have a seat, fellas."

Kinch leaned against the closed door; Newkirk sat on the edge of the desk; Carter perched himself on the edge of Hogan's bed, and LeBeau sat on Hogan's footlocker.

"What do you want to talk with us about, mon Colonel?" asked LeBeau nervously. "You are all right, aren't you?"

Hogan chuckled. "Yes, LeBeau, I'm fine. Believe me, I didn't plan on getting sick and it nearly put a crimp in my plans. But I had Wilson to help me."

"Plans, Gov'nor?" asked Newkirk, totally confused. "What plans were those, sir?"

"Let's see, Newkirk," Hogan rested the back of his head against his pillow. "How about the plan of having Gertrude meet you at 2 p.m. today in the barracks? Or you, Kinch, finally getting to meet the man who challenged you to a boxing match today at 2 p.m.? Or you, Carter, getting to meet the man who placed that phony bomb under the blanket on your bunk? Or even you, LeBeau, waiting so patiently for Marya to show up at camp?"

The men looked at each other, all now totally confused. Newkirk looked at his commanding officer.

"How did you know about the fake bomb in Carter's bed, Colonel? We didn't tell you about that," said Kinch, puzzled.

"I know you didn't tell me about it," Hogan said with a smirk. "But I did have my source."

The men looked at Wilson. They were more confused than ever.

Wilson had an amused grin on his face. He folded his arms.

"Joe, how did you find out about the fake bomb in Carter's bed? We didn't tell you about it," explained LeBeau, looking at the medic.

"No, you didn't tell me anything about it. I know about it because I'm the one who put it there."

There was a collective "WHAT?!" from the four men as they all jumped up.

"Why would you do something like that to me?" asked Carter, stunned.

"Because I asked him to," said Hogan, grinning. "Just like I asked him to send Kinch those boxing gloves, write letters to Newkirk signed Gertrude, and the letter to LeBeau saying that Marya was coming today. As I said, I would have done it all myself except for writing the letters as you all know my handwriting. So, I asked Joe to write them for me as you didn't know his."

"But if Marya isn't coming to camp," said LeBeau, "How are you going to give her the ring?"

"Ring?" Hogan asked with raised eyebrows. "Oh, you mean that piece of glass I had London airdrop the other night? LeBeau, that engagement ring is as phony as the other things. Plus, I'd have to be out of my mind to ask Marya to marry me. If I ever do get married after the war, it will be to Tiger."

The men all exchanged amazed looks before busting out in hysterical laughter at the pranks the Colonel had pulled on each of them.

"Colonel, you really had us going," said Kinch. "We were searching the tunnels looking for an unknown person. We all thought the operation had been compromised."

"I figured that's what you'd think and were in the process of doing when I went to get some coffee."

"Gov'nor, there's just one question I have to ask."

"What's that, Newkirk?" asked Hogan with a chuckle.

"Why would you pull these pranks on us like that? What I mean is, I know things have been kinda boring lately...."

Looking at Wilson, Hogan rolled his eyes and shook his head. He looked at the Englander. "I'm surprised at you, Newkirk. I'm really surprised."

The men looked at each other. They all shook their heads before again looking at their commanding officer.

Hogan sighed, clasping his hands behind his head. He had the look of a Cheshire cat on his face.

"April Fools," he said with a laugh.

**The End**


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